by Otieno Lynn
“He is called Josh and he is my go to man when things aren’t playing out well with Tee.” I am seated at a restaurant waiting for someone who is forty three minutes late, but there are two beautiful typical ‘Nairobi chics’ seated on the table adjacent to mine, wearing tight body hugging dresses and the typical Wema Sepetu weave which one of my friends says is worn by young women who date old Mzungu sponsors….None of my business. I call them chics because that is how they like to be referred to; perhaps the word lady is too long or too boring, or too masculine…I don’t know. So my attention is drawn to their conversation by the mention of this go to man called Josh.
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Well there’s a breed of intelligent, good looking, well groomed men in this city. Their hair is properly barbered, they only wear bespoke suits and you would be forgiven for thinking that these cool studs have hired someone to shine their shoes every five minutes. You would think that they live with their mothers because they do not have dirty socks roaming about the living room or utensils in their sinks that haven’t been washed for the past one week. I would say girlfriends or wives but these men do not commit to anything that qualifies to be called a relationship or anything that comes close. He shops for his mum every three weeks and spends most of his weekends with his siblings…PURRFECT.

Men like Josh do not wear anything cheaper than a Rolex for a wrist watch and everything about them says “I got this”. If not for the dwindling Kenyan economy, they would be speaking Louis Vuitton or Gucci. I am not talking about Chinese Gucci…And did I say that he keeps time? Josh has got his kitchen game on and there is no way you can doubt that his mother taught him well. I wonder if he cleans his dishes or he hires mama wa kufua to do it for him. From the way this particular chica talked, Josh sounds like a safe haven for when your world is on fire, a place to run to when the kitchen gets too hot. There is just no way that you can call him the average guy. He is slightly way past being just average. He matches his socks to his outfits the same way a wedding planner matches the cake to the décor. He knows the difference between the color teal and the color turquoise…PURRFECT.

“Why don’t you just drop Tee’s ass and take things up with Josh”. He effortlessly oozes charm and has his life in control. Well he fears commitment like a plague. He is probably more talented in juggling women than in balancing his work and his social life. He presumably finds it boring. They say nothing is perfect but I think Josh is near perfect. Perfect for occasional sex and feel good moments, perfect for showing off well sculptured abs, perfect for getaways, perfect for the days when you need the full boyfriend experience. He is totally okay with being the go to guy; Content and satisfied.I wish I had known about these men when I was writing this letter to my dad.

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Oliver Jones November 19, 2017 - 12:38 pm

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